Leaders: Start with the end in mind

On more than one occasion over the years, I would hear the following from a leader: “I am not going to continue leading our growth group”. After hearing more about it, I would then ask them who will take over the group, to which I might get a reply like “nobody wants to lead.” I would then ask how they presented the situation and the options before the group, and might hear something like this: “well, I threw it out in our discussion time, and nobody responded to it.” Had I bet every leader who did this my life savings before that meeting that I could guess the answer of the group for that night, I’d be a multi-millionaire by now. Many times over.

We as leaders need to start with the end in mind. What do I mean by that? You start your group with the idea that one day, you will not be the leader of the group, and someone else will need to be. The big question you need to ask yourself is “what am I doing to prepare these guys to keep on the journey without me?” You also pray and ask God, “what is it I need to do to help get these guys ready to grow without me?” It sounds like a harsh question, but you are asking the right and best question in terms of their welfare. You are, in effect, preparing to put yourself out of a job by preparing them to grow on their own.

While that may sound silly right now (especially if you’re with a brand new group), the time will come more quickly than you realize. Don’t ignore the need to develop until it’s too late to do anything meaningful besides springing a loaded question in the middle of a discussion time onto an unsuspecting group.

What can you do to begin preparing? Here are some great ideas:

• Pray and ask God to reveal to you someone in the group with potential, even if they are rough around the edges.

• Personally identify someone who has the potential – Are they present at most meetings? Are they dependable with tasks or assignments? Are they willing to learn and showing an interest in growing spiritually? Great, you might see a leader under all that. But YOU need to have a personal conversation with them and share your observations with them and ask them to consider it.

• Give them portions of your meeting to run – icebreakers, discussion, prayer, outreach event, just to name a few.

• Have them go through our training to help them

Look, one day, you will not be the leader of that group. I guarantee you one of three things will happen: your circumstances or personal direction from the Lord will change, you will die, or Jesus will return in glory. The latter two are more permanent issues, so let’s mainly stick with the first one. One day, you will realize that God is calling you into a different direction. That’s great. No complaints here. But when that day comes, is your group ready to continue on without you? If not, then I have to say that you may have failed at preparing them for their next step of faith, even if you’re ready and prepared for yours.

You have probably heard the quote: “Most people don’t plan to fail; they just fail to plan.” Don’t be the leader who failed to plan for their group. Too much is at stake eternally for you to not work towards empowering others with a special privilege to see God do amazing things in their life, with you having a front row seat to witness it.

Plan ahead. Start with the end in mind.

Relationally rich or poor

I may not have much money at all, but I can love.

I may not have a job to produce things, but I can serve.

I may not be blessed with a strong or gregarious personality, be beautiful by our cultural standards, be dashing and daring and creative and excellent in all I do…but if I can love, that is better than all the previous combined could offer.

The currency of Heaven is not in bucks and buildings and programs and classes; it is in the form of blessed moments of love and opportunities to love others lived out in the daily rhythms of a relational life. It is in the what-would-be-natural rhythms of a give and take occuring in relationships that flow as effortlessly as the Gulf Stream does within the larger Atlantic Ocean. As we rub shoulders, roll up the sleeves, or cry on another's shoulder, we are experiencing the heart of the life God has called us to. And in the process, our hearts are filled to capacity with the ability to love more.

Those who practice this way of life are rich by the standards of heaven, and have a treasure trove to share with the world.

Conversely, those who stray or avoid this path eke out an impoverished existence that reflects the shallow and one dimensional aspect of life it brings.

What shape is your account in these days? Too many withdraws? Getting NSF (insufficient funds) messages? Credit card rejections at the checkout lines of relational experiences? See if you can align your heart, energies, and resources to match the rhythm of heaven, and in the process, become wealthy beyond your wildest dreams.

Relational Life - baseball or soccer style?

When it comes to being involved with significant relationships in our lives, we tend to live one of two ways. I call it the baseball vs. soccer analogy. I get these metaphors from my wife, who hates one sport and enjoys the other. I’ve played both of them as well, so my reflection is a combination of my own playing years as well as watching and rooting from the stands.

In baseball, the game is usually played with long periods of inactivity, followed by brief periods of intense action. This can even apply to the players. I remember spending long innings out in right and center field, not ever getting the ball or being involved in a play. You weren’t allowed to sit down, of course, because the coach would yell at you to get up. But you were stuck with inaction until the 3rd out was recorded.

In soccer, the game was played radically different. In soccer, the goal was continual flow. Very few stoppages of play were called, and even when the ball went out of bounds, it was a brief moment till it came back in and play resumed. The only true breaks in the action came at half-time and at the end.

So there’s the difference.

Baseball: a few minutes of intense action surrounded by long periods of inaction Soccer: a few moments of rest surrounded by continual flowing action

When it comes to our view of the relational life, which of these better describe how much we are truly relating to people around us? Are we going at it baseball style – a few brief interactions followed by long periods of isolation? Or are we going at it soccer style – long periods of relational activity followed by periods of personal rest?

We as a church must also be very careful in what we are perpetuating. Hosting programs and classes at the church, while good stuff, can leave the impression for followers of Christ that the Christian life is an acquisition of information and attendance of events. When in reality, the goal of all of our instruction is to equip you for a life of relational loving and engaging with others in a redeemed and transformed way.

Cellphone Discount?

Want to have dinner without the incessant ringing of your phones? Tired of the interruptions when in the middle of something serious? Now you can dine sans cells at Eva Restaurant in LA. If you want to engage people and not stare at the faint blue screen of a smartphone, now you can - and you save 5% in the process!

Just dump your phone at the door, and viola - human company with no technical difficulties or interruptions.

Owner Mark Gold hopes this gives customers a way to truly sit back and relax, enjoy their meal and actually talk to with friends and family in-person.

"For us, it's really not about people disrupting other guests. Eva is home, and we want to create that environment of home, and we want people to connect again," he explained. "It's about two people sitting together and just connecting, without the distraction of a phone, and we're trying to create an ambience where you come in and really enjoy the experience and the food and the company."

I really hope this fad goes nation-wide. we surely need less, not more, screen time. No one has yet to exclaim at their death-bed, "I wish I had spent more time on Facebook!"

For the full story: Click here!

New Group Dynamics Training

Our new Group Dynamics Training is now out! For years now, we're been doing small group leader training and development in our own little silos: Growth Groups, DE [discipleship essentials], Men's Frat, and more - all doing our own little thing. No Mas!

Gordon Carpenter, John Hilliard, and I knocked our heads together (yes, it might have hurt, but since we're guys, we're not confessing nothing!) to bridge this obvious redundancy and come up with a better plan. We identified the common ground in all our training, and other areas we thought were pivotal to successful and effective group processing.

Viola!

We cover the key basic issues that all group leaders, regardless of context, will face in their group setting. We honestly feel like this is the best 4 hours of group leader training we've ever worked on - we love it that much and feel that strongly about it.

We had 35+ people on Monday night for our first part of the training, and the response so far has been very positive. Part 2 is next Monday night in the Life Center (7-9pm). We're also hosting the training in its entirety on Sunday August 19th from 10:30-3pm (lunch included) for any who can't make it during the week.

I am strongly encouraging ALL of our Growth Group Leaders to take the new training for one of two reasons: 1) You might want a refresher on the basics - think of it as "Spring Training for your Group"; or 2) You'd have a clear idea of how we will train future small group facilitators and leaders at Living Word.

Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog. This is space I've set up to write about small groups, church life, community, relational life issues, and the general disconnected-ness of Americans. Like travelers busily passing by one another getting on and off trains and airplances, we often seem oblivious or unconcerned about anyone else around us. It's as if we act like we're the only humans on the planet.

Since I am the director of our small groups ministry for our church, I will also from time to time add important details, dates, and other stuff on here as well.

Since I am also a dad, I might also show pix of my kids. Who knows...

My goal in this blog is for us to wake up, Matrix-like, from the trance of that individualistic lifetstyle, and discover the real joys of people - the aches, the pains, the mess, and the glory. Because there's nothing on earth more satisfying than a healthy relationship - whether it be with the Creator, or with each other. Enjoy.