Together, with all God's people

“I pray that you may receive power and strength…together with all of God’s people” – Ephesians 3:18

I recently read through Paul’s inspirational prayer he wrote out for the Ephesians in his letter to them. Here’s the guy who’s the founder and architect of their church, having been around since their inception, heavily involved in their growth and development, now pouring his heart out to them.

It’s an inspirational, moving passage, full of desire, hope, and as Pastor Brian likes to say, vital optimism. Paul dreams the big dreams of what he envisions for their lives, and allows them to see that this is near and dear to his heart for them. He shares with them what he most desires for them – a life full of the presence and power of God.

One detail I missed was the phrase that pops up embedded in the middle of verse 18 – “together with all God's holy people”. I never noticed that before. That verse seemed to linger with me after I finished reading it. I found it repeating itself through my ensuing days. I sat with that verse for a while and considered what God was impressing upon me.

When Paul talks about being rooted and established in love, it’s not merely a symbolic or ethereal term for him. He’s not waxing eloquent about some kind of vague knowledge that few grasp. He’s being very concrete about it. Follow me as a lay out what I think Paul is pointing to.

Being rooted is an agricultural reference that most people can quickly understand. When we are rooted in something we stay committed to it; we lock in and are able to withstand any attempts to pull us apart. We endure all kinds of flack and nonsense because what we’re connected to is worth it.

So what are we being rooted in? Love. Doesn’t strike you yet as compelling? What if I substituted the word “relationships” for “love—how does that sound? Paul is very clear in his allusion to love that it’s not something vague and nebulous we are to do throughout the day. He wants us to love people…in relationships. The way we treat our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances, even strangers is the focus and target of our love. We are to be anchored with each other as we together seek the fulfillment of this gripping vision. When we are rooted in healthy relationships, we are experiencing and reflecting our ultimate design by God. It’s at those moments where we see the complete fulfillment of the Great Commandment in our lives, as we simultaneously love God and love our neighbor.

What Paul prays for is also compelling. It’s as if Paul is audaciously asking the Lord to grant us the knowledge of something so wonderful, it seems to be beyond human comprehension. Getting our brains wrapped around the ginormous weight and scope of God’s love is incredible. Most of us marvel as to why and how God loves us. We mostly settle for a “He just does” when we ask, because the beauty of it seems to melt us and blow our minds. This seems to be the ultimate, most prized, greatest understanding anyone on earth through the history of man could get a handle on. And yet, this is the very thing Paul prays. What would be the very best for us is the very thing dearest to Paul’s heart.

It’s not just the select few, the elites, the super-saints who are encouraged to experience this. Just like when the temple veil was torn in two at the moment of Jesus’ death, and the barrier between God and man was lifted and ripped away, Paul is espousing a radical notion that every single one of us – from the smartest to dullest, most experienced to least, most likely to the unlikeliest – is now eligible for this beautiful treasure. No one gets left behind. The love of God for us is open for all to experience, to be thrilled with, to delight in.

So all of us, every last one of us, are on the list. No one is exempt. Nobody gets left behind. Nobody is left out in the cold. “All the saints” is how one translation goes – that pretty much means every single person who’s given their life to Christ.

May you live your day in the warm beauty of this compelling truth and vision. And may you actively love those around you and in your growth group, so they too can experience the joy of experiencing God’s love for them.

What makes a group "great"?

What does a “great group” look like? What would you see happening in a group that is hitting on all cylinders, eagerly seeking God’s joy and glory, and experiencing life changing moments of personal transformation?

We asked each other this question in our monthly coaches meeting just last week, and what follows is a compilation of some of the answers and opinions that were shared around the room.

Obviously, we’ll include some of the basics like a solid attendance record, people actively working through the material of study during the week around meeting nights, and people praying and caring for each other. I would say those things are actions and indicators of what a group does – but what makes it special, stand out, tremendously dynamic in the lives of all the members?

The first special indicator for me is relational credibility. A great group is one that has a deep and rich level of relational integrity – meaning, they’ve forged a cohesive bond that is strong and enduring, that is greatly elastic and flexible, and has a high level of value. This kind of group is one that has earned the right to be heard, can speak the truth in love with one another, has safely allowed sincere moments of total transparency, and can lean on each other when the crisis times emerge. This group knows their members’ stories, knows their pain, and has personal friendships that exist and interact outside the meeting times throughout the rest of the week. This group has its relational action down.

 

The second indicator may be a surprising one: it’s experiencing suffering together. Groups that have had awkward, uncomfortable, even painful moments with each other—and have responded to that painful stimulus in the right way—are groups that have opened a whole new universe of experiences they can share together. A group that has walked the journey of hurt with a member (or a few of them) develops the heart of Jesus in the process, and when that happens, the group elevates its game to a whole new level.

 

This doesn’t have to be simply suffering by an individual about something outside the group. It can also encompass pain and discomfort in the form of conflict within the group. Two people could be at odds over something, and it could end up being the catalyst towards growing intimacy versus remaining distant. Conflict can be a relational generator – again, handled in the right manner. It’s a pity most Christians run for the hills and avoid conflict like Bubonic plague.

 

The third indicator is a group that is experiencing transforming moments with Jesus Christ through the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. As people have the truth of Jesus light up their hearts and give them joy, peace, strength, cleansing, healing, forgiveness, power, and more, they are indelibly changed. They may never be the same again. Factor in that there could be more than one person experiencing this, and you have a catalytic opportunity in your group for tremendous spiritual growth like some spiritual version of a greenhouse.

 

The big question that begs to be asked is – where is your group in these areas? If each indicator was on a spectrum from “very little like us” to “completely like us”, what might you say your group was like? How far along that spectrum are you? What kinds of experiences have you had that might help you move along further down the route? Are there ones you’ve shied away from because they were, to be honest, intimidating and challenging?

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Reply to me or post your comments on the GG Page on Facebook.

Tragedy in Newton

Long before the horrific tragedy of Newton, CT assaulted our consciences, there was another tragic massacre of children half way around the world. The same epic display of grief, horror, and loss was recorded as an entire town’s population of boys was wiped out in one moment, carried out by an insecure tyrant afraid to lose his power and wanting to make a statement about himself.

This time, the scene was Bethlehem. About two years after Jesus was born, Herod the Great received news via the wise men that a king was born who would rule the Jews. Well that won’t do, he thought. So he ordered the execution of every male child two years and younger, just to keep it that way. It was an act of brutality simply because he perceived a potential future challenger. A senseless crime if there ever was one.

The prophet Jeremiah touches on the intense ache and pain of this kind of loss:

"A cry of anguish is heard in Ramah -- mourning and weeping unrestrained.

Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted -- for her children are dead." (31:15)

How heart breaking this tragedy was. No parent should ever have to bury their child. Estimates are that in Bethlehem there were around a dozen boys murdered in this sleepy remote town due to the incredibly evil intent in a person’s heart. No evidence exists, but one has to wonder whether or not some families might have been related to Mary and Joseph, or each other. It was a tragic, horrific event that served no purpose other than to feed a madman’s spite.

It brings me to today, with the scope of the Newton massacre still fresh in our minds. Here are a few thoughts swirling around in my heart and mind as I process this awful catastrophe, ranging from evil to mental illness to Christmas.

The evil that has overrun the world is even greater and more pervasive than most of us give credit.
Like a dark stain we try to scrub and bleach out, or a germ we attempt to wipe out with massive loads of disinfectant, we’ve tried to erase the presence of evil and injustice in our society. And we’ve done a fairly good job at certain levels in our culture of eradicating some of the more obvious issues. But I think our very success has lulled us into a false sense of complacency. The truth is that evil will never be wiped out this side of death. We must always be vigilant. We can never declare “mission accomplished”—at least not till Jesus returns and ushers in a new existence. That can be a challenging and demoralizing truth, but it is the reality we face.

We also don’t just face the issue out there; we also wrestle in here. The inconsistencies of our own hearts, the selfishness we too quickly activate, the messes we make and must own up to are all evidences that we, too, are not a finished product. I like to say that we are works of art…in progress. Both realities are present: the beauty of our design, mixed with the mistakes and flaws that try to drag us down. Sometimes, these mistakes are pain-free. Other times, they hurt the very ones we love tremendously. I found myself thinking more than once this weekend “there but the grace of God go I” – whether as a grieving parent who lost a child, or as a lamenting parent of a child who is mentally ill and full of rage.

We can also detect a sense of irrationality as we try to analyze evil and sin. It makes no sense. Why does someone return acts of love and care with rejection, hatred, or harm? Why would they choose to walk away from a healthy loving relationship for the inferior alternatives? I actually have in mind Adam & Eve, the ones who started this disastrous merry go-round of futility. But it could sound like almost anyone, because we’re all like them. Possessing the seed of Adam means we all contain the same elementary impulse to do something that is just odd or bizarre with respect to loving relationships.  Sin makes no sense, but we all do it. Evil is the most ridiculous conclusion one could arrive at, but yet we can be blinded and bamboozled into thinking “maybe it’s not so bad”. Oh, it may be obvious when the contrast is stark and severe – but what about the subtle choices, the ones that don’t seem so blatantly depraved?

Even mental illness is a reflection of the brokenness of this earth caused by evil.
Please hear me - mental illness is not a sin at all; but it is a reflection of a severely and deeply broken world. No healthy human mind would arrive at the conclusions that young man did. A healthy heart does not attack children. A healthy soul does not conclude that killing little ones for no sound reason is a good decision. Adam Lanza sure sounded mentally ill. His mind was defective by his illness. It's part and parcel of a broken world that some children will carry defects throughout their lives - some physical, others mental.

My bet is that we all know families who have a member that might remind us of an Adam. We see the odd eccentricities, the loner or anti-social behavior. Our natural instinct is to recoil and avoid someone like that, but this begs the question – is that what might have precipitated his murderous rage, or fed his sense of resentment and antipathy for people?

Mental illness is not easy, fun, clean, or quick. I’d argue it’s one of the most challenging aspects we face while living in community. I know from some personal experience. Dealing with someone with mental issues is a long-term, draining existence, especially if they’re a loved one or relative. Would it have helped Adam’s mom to have a network of loving support around her as she wrestled through the daily rhythms and rages that awaited her? I don’t know, but it’s worth asking every person who has a situation like this one.

We have to figure out how freedom and responsibility are going to exist side by side.
Because the reality is that you cannot have one without the other.  Whether you favor gun-possession or elimination, the truth is that there needs to be a better way to prevent mentally ill people from obtaining access to firearms. I don’t have an answer, and I strongly doubt whether the simplest answers are the best ones.

But if we are to be a free society, that means we need to develop responsibilities that match the freedoms. Wild-west anarchy and totalitarian shut downs are two extremes being tossed around the internet, and it’s a shame – because we should be better and smarter than that. Or maybe we are not a culture that is as far removed from the days of brute survival as we initially thought.

We discover that most things in life are secondary to being alive.
Nothing beats life. We grab and hug our kids more. We watch them with a more alert eye. We take their immature moments and tantrums with a little more salt because in the final analysis, they are alive. And we want to keep it that way. Living in an affluent society like we do can sometimes mask the truth that for all of our advances, we are just one incident shy of injury or even death. None of those things can insulate us from the frailty of our existence. Having lots of belongings may deceive us in thinking we’re shielded from the hard ravages of a broken world full of evil, but it doesn’t. At any moment, on any given day, we can meet the moment that will be our last on earth. And no amount of control on our or anyone else’s part is going to alter that.

Maybe this Christmas should be a simpler, humbler expression of love for Jesus and each other.

Jesus himself said that a life does not consist in the abundance of possessions. I say this because Christmas has been so commercialized over the years, that I think we’ve become numb to the idea of celebrating the Savior’s entrance into our world with simple acts of affection, worship, or love to others—and nothing more. Maybe this year could be a year we practice a simple and plain Advent.

 

Truth is, we desperately need a savior. We've needed one for a long, long time. The joy of Christmas is that God has answered our cries with a definitive "yes". We celebrate the baby Jesus this month, but it was the adult Jesus that took the weight of all our combined sinfulness on his own and paid the price to enable us to experience true freedom. That hope, that these burdens and demands of life we flail over will not be the final chapter or the end of us, is stil real and alive today as it was almost two thousand years ago.

 

Perhaps this year could be a year where we celebrate the true meaning of Christmas with more meager and simple expressions of love, joy, and appreciation, and leave the volumes of gifts and goodies in the garage (or at the store) for another day.

In the company of good friends...or familiar strangers?

Which is your experience of the Christian life– being on a journey with good friends, who know you and most of your quirks; or with transitional groups of strangers, who barely know you enough to ask more than ‘how was your week’?

Increasingly, in churches, it is becoming more of the latter.

Chris Gambill, of the Center for Congregational Health, says that “Increasingly in congregational life we have a growing deficit of what might be called ‘social capital’. In many contexts — not by intentionality, but by accident — churches are a company of familiar strangers.”

Social capital is the relational connective tissue for the soul. God designed us to be in significant relationships with others through whom we can grow and develop into mature social beings that live in harmony in community.

But because of the mobility of our culture, the transient nature of fast change today, the massive amount of everyday choices set before us, and the advent of invasive technology, we are distracted and obstructed from having those relationships around us become such a force for good relational development.

Instead, we are delayed or even stunted in our relational capability. This has a profound effect on how we manage life with others, especially the more challenging and difficult moments. This is particularly so when it comes to having difficult conversations with people.

Gambill: “It’s difficult to have a significant conversation with someone you don’t know well. For one thing, you don’t trust them, and you don’t know how much you can say. So when we have a difficult conversation at church, we don’t have a group of people who have a deep relationship they can build off of — we have a group of strangers.”

Think about it – how intimate will we truly become if all we ever discuss and share are surface facts and opinions? The road to closer relationships has to run, at some point, through the land of difficulty and conflict. If we never head that way, how can we be a people who know each other well enough to speak truth lovingly to each other?

It wasn’t always this way. In the past, church members’ daily activities kept them in close contact with one another throughout the week and outside the church.

But those days of repetitive connections with the same people over the span of days and weeks are gone. Now, it is possible to not see the same people for more than once a month, or even longer. This either hinders the development of social capital or delays it significantly from growing .

If there ever was a screaming, crying need for the role of small groups in the life of the church as a central means to help people get relationally connected [even before beginning the growth process!], this should help spell it out clearly.

We need to be in relationship. And if our culture is going to delay, distract, or even obstruct that from happening, then we need to be intentional and prioritize our time and space to help create it.

A healthy small group is what every individual serious about becoming mature in Christ, relationally speaking, must be involved in.

More here

The structure of belonging

"The small group is the unit of transformation and the container for the experience of belonging." - Peter Block, Community.

The honor of people

“We live in an age where men fear each other, but do not fear God. As a result, ours is a society that is more and more stripped of grace.” – Miroslav Volf, 2012 lecture

I got to hear Volf speak at a lecture series last week, and his words still seem to be lingering in my mind almost a week later.

These are powerful words from Volf. His perspective is that at the root of our ever increasing incivility with one another, where people seem to react with more venom and vitriol, and the center doesn’t seem to hold together, is an absence of an awareness of a greater Person or Authority present and at work. Having less of an awareness of the Majesty of life, we have lost the awe of life itself.

Now, nothing is sacred. When nothing is valued, we have less reason to hold back, to restrain from hurting people or possessing things. Life becomes a game of reaching and grasping. People are lost in the shuffle. Living seems to be more of a hurried rush of actions and reactions. The simple beauty of each day seems to fade into the crunch of deadlines, noise, irritations, and the daily routines.

It would explain much in the way of our politics. It’s no longer “to the winner go the spoils”. It’s now more like “bloodsport” or “to the death of the other”. Political parties don’t just want to win; they want to utterly control all, while virtually annihilating the competition; bi-partisanship be darned. Forget negotiation and compromise. I make the rules, and you will be subservient to my wishes.

I was at a professional sports game recently. Maybe I’ve just been out of the loop for too long, but it struck me how intense the fans in the stands had become. It had veered far from cheering for one’s own team atmosphere to a heckle-and-insult the other team –their coach, their players, their fans, their mothers, their lineage, their eyesight—and so on. Profanity and vulgarity were considered art forms like using water colors or ink. And it only got worse for the referees.

Miroslav’s answer? For the devoted follower of Christ, it’s simple. Honor everyone (1 Peter 2:17). Practice indiscriminate respect. Look for the image of God in people, and value that. Learn to distinguish between a person’s deeds and actions, and their value as a human being. Regardless of whether the person’s positions are similar to yours, or the exact opposite, Volf said to always respect the person – and sometimes…maybe…respect their position.

Whether we agree or not is not the final issue. It’s whether or not we as a community, or as a nation, can sustain our differences and learn to honor each other in the process that will determine whether or not our country endures.

While we cannot save the world, we can affect the person that’s in front of us. And to do that, we can start by honoring them for who they are as a creature of the God of the universe.

My thoughts on the election

Today is a day that hurts.

It hurts to see my fellow citizens choose another path for our country. It hurts to see what I’ve perceived to be bad leadership rewarded and encouraged. It hurts to see policies that directly affect negatively the family become ensconced in the mechanical rituals of our national health care. It hurts to look at the gloom I’ve seen on the faces of many over these last few years, knowing that some of these circumstances that are the source of their sadness were avoidable - shaped by the national trends emerging out of decision-making power centers that seem out of touch with either the impact of their choices or the answers to resolve them. It just hurts.

We seem to want to walk down a pathway that is only going to invite more misery and hardship upon people, and yet all I can do is watch. Like being shackled to the prodigal son on his journey towards the land of wild and lavish living, I can do nothing but be dragged along to the place where I know this will end — eating leftover food products tossed to the pigs. I see the end, but all I can do is brace myself and wait.

This is the feeling I get when I watch the Ravens lose to the Steelers. The major difference being that is just a football game. In this case, I didn’t lose a game — I lost a country. And the ache is about 1000x sharper.

It’s understandable that most people have a desire to build an equitable society. That’s a noble quest. The difficulties arrive when different people have different pathways to making that happen. And choices have consequences. So to choose one path means we may not walk down another. I fear that in our haste to journey down one road, we may lose the wisdom and benefits we gloss over as outdated, passé, or irrelevant as we sail away from the paths not taken.

Most of us have an aversion to pain and suffering. We run from it, avoid it, minimize it. But we may be coming to a place in our country where those options are no longer viable. I believe the discomfort and unease we feel will continue unabated for the foreseeable future. We may even see increases in it as our nation strains at the sinews that are only barely keeping us connected together now.

We may continue to ache, like it says in Romans, being the creation that longs to be clothed with something other than the robes of ignorance, self-interest, reckless living, being enslaved to our passions.

So here comes the million dollar question: What can I take from this moment?

There are four consolations I draw out of this most painful moment. In no particular order…

First, the Kingdom of God is still real. The beauty of God’s timeless word is that his truth still is true, regardless of circumstance. So the Kingdom, a place where there will be no more crying, war, or pain, is still an ever-present expectation. I live each day in the light of this coming reality. And every day, we are one day closer to God’s kingdom coming – even on a day like today.

Second: If my country’s potential collapse is the precursor to the End coming, then I need to accept our part in the unfolding of history. This one is hard. I love my country dearly. But if my own country’s deterioration is one of the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that is a first step to the culminating of history, then I need to accept that. My prayer becomes more like the prayer of Gethsemane – may this cup of suffering pass from our lips; but Your will be done, not mine. Give me the strength to trust you; may my faith in you not fail as we walk this rocky road. Help me to be compassionate on many who will be even more so affected negatively by our direction. Help me not lose hope myself.

Third: Jesus is still real. This is the best truth. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). I need not fear that He is unaware of these choices we are making. He is sovereign and capable to help us navigate the minefield we’ve chosen to tip-toe through. Even if we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, he is still closer than a brother, and will bring all his power to bear upon the situations we face. My hope is in him, even if my worst fears are realized—and that hope will not fail.

Fourth: His promises to me are still real. I still have hope. He will sustain me, provide for me, keep me focused on the things that matter most, as I hear often from a few others around me.

I feel mostly for those who don’t have Him to hope upon. Whether it be those despairing over the results of the election; or even worse, those who have put their hope in someone other than Jesus. Because ultimately, he will fail. Only Jesus never fails.

The day for those folks has not yet come where they may need Him like I do today.

May their eyes be clear and their hearts be open when that day comes.