What makes a group "great"?

What does a “great group” look like? What would you see happening in a group that is hitting on all cylinders, eagerly seeking God’s joy and glory, and experiencing life changing moments of personal transformation?

We asked each other this question in our monthly coaches meeting just last week, and what follows is a compilation of some of the answers and opinions that were shared around the room.

Obviously, we’ll include some of the basics like a solid attendance record, people actively working through the material of study during the week around meeting nights, and people praying and caring for each other. I would say those things are actions and indicators of what a group does – but what makes it special, stand out, tremendously dynamic in the lives of all the members?

The first special indicator for me is relational credibility. A great group is one that has a deep and rich level of relational integrity – meaning, they’ve forged a cohesive bond that is strong and enduring, that is greatly elastic and flexible, and has a high level of value. This kind of group is one that has earned the right to be heard, can speak the truth in love with one another, has safely allowed sincere moments of total transparency, and can lean on each other when the crisis times emerge. This group knows their members’ stories, knows their pain, and has personal friendships that exist and interact outside the meeting times throughout the rest of the week. This group has its relational action down.

 

The second indicator may be a surprising one: it’s experiencing suffering together. Groups that have had awkward, uncomfortable, even painful moments with each other—and have responded to that painful stimulus in the right way—are groups that have opened a whole new universe of experiences they can share together. A group that has walked the journey of hurt with a member (or a few of them) develops the heart of Jesus in the process, and when that happens, the group elevates its game to a whole new level.

 

This doesn’t have to be simply suffering by an individual about something outside the group. It can also encompass pain and discomfort in the form of conflict within the group. Two people could be at odds over something, and it could end up being the catalyst towards growing intimacy versus remaining distant. Conflict can be a relational generator – again, handled in the right manner. It’s a pity most Christians run for the hills and avoid conflict like Bubonic plague.

 

The third indicator is a group that is experiencing transforming moments with Jesus Christ through the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. As people have the truth of Jesus light up their hearts and give them joy, peace, strength, cleansing, healing, forgiveness, power, and more, they are indelibly changed. They may never be the same again. Factor in that there could be more than one person experiencing this, and you have a catalytic opportunity in your group for tremendous spiritual growth like some spiritual version of a greenhouse.

 

The big question that begs to be asked is – where is your group in these areas? If each indicator was on a spectrum from “very little like us” to “completely like us”, what might you say your group was like? How far along that spectrum are you? What kinds of experiences have you had that might help you move along further down the route? Are there ones you’ve shied away from because they were, to be honest, intimidating and challenging?

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Reply to me or post your comments on the GG Page on Facebook.