Waste can be good

“When scarce resources become abundant, smart people treat them differently, [utilizing] them rather than conserving them. It feels wrong, but done right it can change the world. The problem is that abundant resources are too often treated as scarce.” – Chris Anderson, Wired

OK, I know I’ve just upset some of my efficiency-expert friends with this one. But it’s true – when it comes to developing relationships. What can seem to be the most un-relevant and unintentional moment towards spiritual formation can actually be a moment that will accelerate the process later.

There are times when the things members are doing – chatting about the weather, the kids, the latest sports teams – can be seen as very wasteful of your time. Yet they can also be the very thing creating the bonds of friendship that later are needed when the conversations turn deeper and more reflective, more vulnerable.

Leaders are task-oriented people. We want to accomplish things. They evaluate the day by how much was finished. My wife is exceptional with this. Most people plan to do four things, finish two—and call it a good day. She plans ten things, does seven—and then feels like she had a disappointing and unproductive day.

We do the same with our small groups. We have our start time, our end time, our timed-out minutes for discussion and prayer. And we strive to keep our segues clear, transitions quick—all to timely arrive at the end of our lesson at our group ending time, with a few minutes to spare to pick up the kids.

But here’s what we may be subtly communicating: grace is scarce. While we know time is a locked in commodity, grace can be seen and shown in different ways. It doesn’t arrive or reveal itself in the same ways, and we may miss the moment if we’re focused on the task at hand and not the opportunity for grace to be revealed in it. We have a God who is profuse and lavish with his dispersal of grace; we don’t need to skimp and be afraid to be generous with it also.

So when you’re sitting in your chair, ready to steam roll through the night’s agenda, and two ladies are catching up about the kids, you can feel the hairs on your neck rise. Your blood pressure elevates. You pulse quickens. Your brain kicks in and begins to re-calculate how much time each section is going to need, while your dwindling minutes tick away between two gabbies carrying on about pre-school or music camp.

Relax. Seriously, chill.

Now for some leaders, your biggest challenge is getting started and keeping the group moving in a timely fashion. If it’s 8pm, and you’re still on the ice breaker, then yes, you may not be utilizing your time well. Leadership is the challenge of balancing different, and sometimes even competing, values at the same time. So for you, work on the value of time, while you practice the value of people.

Leaders, here’s a tip: Make your task people. Make it part of your check list that you spend a good amount of time talking and listening to your members in settings other than the Bible study discussion. You could even separate it and make it before and after the meeting altogether.

May you enjoy the "wasted" moments of your time together spent in the abundant grace of Jesus Christ.